Thursday, December 31, 2020

Reflections on 2020

As we put up our nativity set this year, our daughter Bella put face masks on the wise men, the shepherds, and Mary and Joseph—a fitting capstone to 2020. Christmas is supposed to be a time of hope, joy, peace, and eager anticipation. But I found that the heaviness and despair that filled 2020 carried over into the Christmas season as well. If only everything could magically be made new on January 1 and the nightmare of 2020 could be done away with in one fell swoop! But it is not that easy. It has been a hard year, a year of unfulfilled expectation, a year of disappointment, a year of uncertainty, a year of turmoil, a year of sadness and grief. It has been a difficult year spiritually, and it is not all magically healed when the clock strikes midnight on January 1.

Here in Ukarumpa we are fortunate to be able to attend church in person. A few weeks ago a fellow translator preached a sermon that really touched my heart, bringing me to tears. He said that one of the lessons of the Christmas story is that we surrender our plans to God. It was certainly never Mary’s plan to become pregnant through the Holy Spirit and endure the ridicule and shame that would be associated with a pregnancy that took place before she was married. But she graciously accepted the Lord’s plan for her life, surrendering any plans that she had for herself.

A new twist on our nativity set this year

Often I let my own plans take center stage, pushing the Lord’s plans into the background. It is so easy to make this life about myself and what I want to do, and not about God and what he wants to do. But in the end I find that selfish pursuits leave me spiritually empty. The year 2020 has exposed many of our vain pursuits, forcing us to take a good, hard look at who we really are deep inside as we are no longer able to hide in the busyness of life. And, for me at least, it has exposed a selfishness that is at odds with the message of Christmas: giving up one’s own dreams and plans to become a servant of the living God.

The Christian life seems so simple yet so elusive. It is so simple: love God and love others. But it is so hard to actually do that, and we constantly fall short of that simple goal. Like many missionaries, I struggle to understand how God could use an imperfect creature like me to accomplish his purposes for the world. I feel unworthy and incapable, at times taking too much of the responsibility upon myself and not trusting enough in God and in the power of prayer. And when I rely too much upon myself, I am constantly disappointed with the results.

If 2020 has revealed anything to me, it is just how desperately we need to be connected to Jesus, the true vine. Apart from him we can do nothing. Apart from him we are nothing but dead branches ready to be burned in the fire. Apart from him we have no hope in this world. Apart from him our lives are meaningless and all of our efforts and achievements are in vain. Apart from him, although we might pursue pleasure, we will never experience true joy. Joy—just a few days ago Martha and I were talking about the fact that Christians should be known as people of deep joy. Yet somehow it seems that joy is fading from the church. Of all people Christians should have joy no matter what circumstances they face, but it seems that we have grown soft. As the hardships of 2020 came upon us, we began to find out just how spiritually bankrupt we had become and just how much we were dependent upon the things of this world for happiness. And when those things were taken away, the true state of our spirituality was revealed.

Let us join the angel in shouting Hallelujah!

As I look at the nativity scene, I am struck by the fact that the angels are not wearing masks. They are not subject to the disease and sickness of this world, neither in a physical sense nor in a spiritual sense. I find myself longing for that day when all things will be made new, and we too will no longer be subject to the physical and spiritual illnesses that beset us in this fallen world. But rather we will finally become all that God has created us to be. Our enemies—sin, death, and Satan—will finally be conquered, and we will reign with Christ forever and ever. And then God “will wipe away every tear from [our] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” That is the hope of Christmas, and that is the source of our joy, peace, and strength in difficult times.