Saturday, June 1, 2019

Twenty-Four More Days

Twenty-four more days until we wake up early, get into a van for a bumpy ten-minute ride to the airstrip, and climb into a ten-passenger Kodiak airplane that will take us to, what I consider, another dimension. Transitioning from life in Papua New Guinea (PNG) to life in the US is no easy thing.

Our conversations around the dinner table are filled with chatter about all the amazing things we will get to experience, like our favourite foods, smooth roads, and fast internet. But our conversations often get confused when we use the phrase “going home.” For Adam and I, “going home” means going to the US, and for the kids, it means going to PNG. In those moments I am brought back to reality and remember that furlough isn’t all about great pizza and YouTube videos. I remember that even though the kids got to see New York City, Washington D.C., and Niagra Falls during our furlough in 2015, Bella asked almost on a daily basis, “When are we going home?” And I am reminded that every time we visited new people—and we did that a lot—Asher held my hand for the first twenty-four hours. So even though I am ready and thrilled to go on furlough, I am going into it with a bit of apprehension.

The first time we went back to the States in 2015, we did a lot of things wrong, and we weren’t mentally prepared. We ignored all the advice to stop somewhere to rest and buffer the transition between PNG and the US. We had lots of immediate plans to see friends and family, and we couldn’t wait to do all the fun things like go to restaurants, the zoo, the beach, shopping—the list was endless. The great land of America was waiting for us with all its food, folks, and fun. But that wasn’t exactly how it went. We were exhausted from jet lag, Bella arrived with lice, Asher got a fever, the air conditioning in the mall made us freeze to death. Our kids thought we were lying to them about their bedtime because they didn’t believe it could be light at eight o’clock at night, and we had such a hard time finding shoes for the kids that they ended up going to the beach in tennis shoes—in October, three months after we arrived in the US! One time, the kids freaked out when they saw a squirrel at a park and tried to climb a tree to catch it, only to be told that they weren’t allowed to climb the tree. Couldn’t climb a tree? What planet were they on?

These are small things really, and mostly make for funny stories, but there were big things too. People, friends, family, church—it had all changed. We had changed and no longer looked at the world the same. Needless to say, our 2015 furlough wasn’t the Disneyland experience we thought it would be. I could debrief about that for hours, but that is the past. We learned from it, and now we are looking forward to what is next, hopefully a bit more prepared.

Our first stop will be in Singapore to rest and have some very needed family time. We arrive in Pittsburgh on July 1, and our kids are very excited to see their grandparents. This time we have no big plans for the first couple of weeks—just settling in, and of course, dentist appointments. Settling in means getting a car, ordering homeschool curriculum, and if Bella has her way, shopping for new clothes. I just keep telling her to hold on, and that no one is noticing the holes in her clothes. We can’t wait to drive on smooth roads, be anonymous, and eat amazing ice cream. But we still have a ways to go before we get there. The next twenty-four days will be a whirlwind of cleaning and packing up our house. I am finding this to be nearly impossible to do while still having to do the everyday things like making dinner, picking up after everyone, and dealing with school events and homework. Please pray that I would manage my time well and have extra energy.

We will also be saying good bye to many friends, some of them for two years, and some we will not see again because they are leaving PNG permanently. This never gets any easier. My heart is heavy when I think of all the goodbyes my kids have had to endure. These are the days when I question and doubt everything. But I know and believe that we have not come here in vain, so I have to continue to believe that God will protect the hearts and minds of my children. 

Jacob, Bella, Martha, Adam, and Asher Boyd
Recently, while reading Hebrews 4, I was struck with how many times the word rest is used. This passage is warning us that we should not fail to believe and receive the promise of entering God’s rest.

“God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it.” - Heb. 4:1 (NLT)

The passage continues for several verses to speak of God’s rest. All I could think was, this is part of the good news! How had I never noticed this before? We are called to believe and obey the commandments of Jesus, and one of the results is entering his rest. And rest is what I need. God is the calm in the storm. He is my rest. It has been a long time since I have slept through the night. I find myself awake with my head spinning with worry. This is the direct result of not trusting that God can take care of all of my needs. Believing that in my head and living it out are two different things. When I find myself awake at night, I am slowly remembering to pray and surrender instead of worry. I am learning to remember that I can choose to enter God’s rest. I don’t always do a great job of this, but I know that renewing your mind is not an overnight process. Today I hold on to the hope of this promise, and I will choose to trust that God will walk with us during this transition, and this furlough. Lord, thank you that the promise of entering your rest still stands, and may I tremble with fear that I might fail to experience it.

Please be praying that we will say good goodbyes and have the closure here that will allow us to be mentally and emotionally healthy to thrive during our upcoming furlough.

We still need housing in or near Sylmar, CA, from mid-December to the beginning of July 2020. I know it is a long shot, but I have seen God do way bigger things than this, and so we are continuing to pray and trust that God will provide the right place for us.